I think I have been avoiding the reality that I am leaving this place that has become so dear to me.
I have 2 weeks left. That means I actually have only 7 days on duty.
Thursday, as I sat in George’s office before we discussed what I was going to talk about at family night, I just began crying.
No real reason. He just asked me what I thought about my time here and if I thought it had been a good year.
Tears of joy and sadness were all that I could answer.
Let me tell you a few reasons why.
1. This place is a glimpse of heaven: I am truly convinced of this. It radiates Jesus. It radiates Jesus message of love for all creation. It radiates acceptance, honesty, vulnerability, healing, growth, goodness. It is such a gift to be a part of this. I’ve never experienced something so close to heaven. It is my prayer to carry this “heaven” with me. It’s not just a place, which is awesome, because I can take it wit me.
2. The community: I have talked about this so many times, but I don’t think I have even been more content with myself and the people I am surrounded by. This is the first time in my life I have not felt pulled by spreading myself too thin. I have made great, loving, honest, caring friends. Who knew you could hang out with the same 5 people all year and be so joyful? I will miss the laughs, the games, the $2 Tuesdays, being faced, the outfits, the trips to chic-fil-a, being on duty, the inside jokes, the serious conversations, the conversations about Jesus and how to love well.
3. The Leadership: Man. I wish I could learn from George and Kevin for the rest of my life. Their knowledge, insight, wisdom, harsh love, gentle love, and faith is something for which I strive. They are amazing examples of Jesus. I love that they don’t claim to know all the answers, yet provoke such thought in me of all things: from how to deal with a kid to my faith.
4.The kids: This might seem like an obvious reason to miss this place, but work here for a little while, and one might change their mind. I have wrestled with this one too…will I really miss the kids and all the absurdities that come along with them? Oh yea. Life will seem so simple without the daily craziness. I will miss their smiles, I will miss the conversations we have after arguments, I will miss seeing them sing at family nights, I will miss seeing kids emancipate and be so proud of themselves, I will miss celebrating kid’s birthdays for maybe the first time in their life, I will miss seeing them play games and get to be kids, I will miss bedtime in girls and telling them that I love them, I will miss family dinners with 17 people around the dinner table, I will miss those small glimpses of hope that I see in each of them.
5. The beautiful view: I just love seeing those mountains! They are incredible.
It is going to be super hard to leave this place, my friends, the kids, etc. I am so thankful for the time I had here to learn about Jesus, myself, loving others well, challenging others, being open with people, and so so much more.
Thank you guys so much for your support of me over the past year! Please don’t stop once I leave here! Please continue to pray that I can carry this “heaven” with me and remember all I have learned here. Please pray that I can love others well in SC, that I can find a group of friends similar to here, and that I can continue to be pushed towards Christ and not get comfortable in my pursuit of Him.
One thing that makes this easier is that I get to see this man in 2 days! no more video chatting! Praise the Lord!
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