Two weeks ago, I got to travel home to the East Coast for a week! I flew into Charleston for Allan’s sister’s wedding and then we drove up to the dash to visit my family!! I love being at home and just feel so blessed to have the family I have. Enjoy a few pictures from my trip!
Sorry, I’m slightly obsessed with my niece and nephew!
I feel like a proud parent.
My first-born primary emancipated!!
Ok, I know I am not really his mom, but I still all warm and fuzzy with seeing my primary pass parole!
He worked so hard here at the Dale House Project and really was one of the greatest residents I have met. (Maybe I am partial?) He did everything he needed to do plus more!! He was relational. He was honest. He asked for help. He listened. He was vulnerable. He apologized. He laughed with us. He was just so fun to have around the DHP.
and that’s what I heard all night long as people celebrated G at his emancipation dinner.
When a kid paroles at the DHP, we celebrate. They pick out what meal they want to eat, we give them presents, we decorate, and then we each take time to share with them memories, encouragement, and what we will miss about them being around.
Jesse, my co-worker, rockin’ a Tee with G’s picture on it! G loved these shirts!
G had TONS of people at his emancipation dinner, which I think is just a reflection of who he is and the way he has handled himself here.
I held myself together pretty well, but I have to admit that I shed a few tears. I am just so proud of him and how he has really taken charge of his life and realized he is worth more than being addicted to drugs his whole life. I told him that he is the poster child of why I wanted to work at the DHP.
I wanted to see people overcome addictions: he did.
I wanted to see people realize their potential: he did (and still is).
I wanted to see people prove statistics wrong: he did.
I wanted to see people work hard and change their life: he did (and still is).
I wanted to be a part of God’s work in people: he is God’s work.
It was such a cool thing to get to sit with G in front of the parole board and hear him re-count his life, where his mind-set was when he was getting into trouble, and then hear him talk about where he is now and where he wants to go. He did such a great job. He was nervous, but he was just himself, and totally impressed the parole board with how far he has come!
You should have seen the smile on G’s face when they handed him this paper!
It was crazy! Just like that, he was on parole and done with the DHP! He has 6 months of parole and then he will be completely off papers! He has his own apartment now too! Man! I am so excited for him!
I am excited for him to be different than his mother and sisters. I am excited for him to feel good about himself in a healthy way. I am excited that he is providing for himself. I am excited that he is excited about where he is in life.
Pleasssssse pray for G! It has got to be so so so hard to all of a sudden be on your own, paying all your bills, working full time, without a car, without a family to fall back on, fighting a past of addictions. It won’t be easy for him to always make the right decision because right decisions are sometimes harder to do. Please pray that he can know the hope of the Lord. Please pray for our friendship to continue. Please pray he can remember that he is loved and created to have a full life!
I came home the other day and Kallie told me there was a surprise for me in the freezer.
I opened it and….
YES! A huge bag of sonic ice! Can you believe that?
That is true love!
and so thoughtful!!
She really knows how to speak to my heart : )
I am so thankful for my awesome roommates. Not just because they are thoughtful but because they are truly gifts from God. They are encouraging. They are loving. They are fun! Its so a blessing to get to live with them, work with them, and share life! They will truly be one of the things I miss the most about the DHP!
My little primary family getting ice cream!
Time just goes by so quickly! I sat down today to do the 7th month update and realized it was time for the 8 month!! So, blog readers, I am skipping my promised 7 month update and turning it into a 7 and 8 month update! Sorry!
It’s always so hard for me to know what to write! SO MUCH HAPPENS in a month, and almost none of it “normal!” 
So in order to try to convey my past 2 months, I leave you with some stories! They are in different fonts to help you separate them!
1.
I’m not going to lie. I was afraid of one of my primaries. I felt like I was constantly walking on egg-shells. Was she going to be nice to me? or was she going to tell me to F-off? Was she going to willingly go to her dentist appointment or was she going to yell at me in the waiting room? I just never knew! When she was happy…she was happy!!! When she wasn’t…watch out! I spent almost every day being worried about how “Susie” would respond to me on a daily basis. I knew that the way she responded to me was not because of me, but her past, etc. but it still was warring on my mind! We spent many nights trying to convince Susie not to run away from the DHP. We loved her. We wanted her there. After much discussion, she would normally return, apologize, cry, and we would hug and move on. The same thing may happen the next night, or the next night but it was just an endless cycle it seemed. The cycle seemed to get worse too. Susie was dealing with a lot of issues from her past and it was just taking a toll on her mind. She couldn’t get control. She was honest about feeling out of her mind crazy.
I got word on our winter camping trip that Susie had run away. For good. She packed a bag, asked for her money, and ran. She didn’t take her medications with her though. Big problem due to the amount and type of medications she was on. Everyone was worried about her and the side-effects she might experience from suddenly stopping such strong medications. We tried to get the police involved to help find her, but they couldn’t do anything about it. Six days after Susie left, we get a call from Susie asking to come back. She returns and is taken to a local mental hospital for evaluation where she is put on a 72 hour hold.
I had never visited a mental hospital. I hope I never have to visit again. It was just such a sterile, sad place. I could almost physically feel the pain of the kids on Susie’s hall. Visiting Susie was great though, probably the best time we ever had together. She was honest. She was calm. She was vulnerable. She was apologetic. She was hopeful.
Unfortunately, we had run out of options for her at the DHP and other placements were being looked at for her to go to once she was discharged. When Susie learned of this, she was devastated. She cried and cried every time I visited her. She wrote letters of apology, asking to come back. “The Dale House is my home. I’ve never had a family and the Dale House is my family. A family isn’t blood, a family is a place where you feel loved and accepted and welcomed. I’ve never been able to sleep at night for fear of being hurt in my sleep. This is the first time I can do that.” Just honest, gut-wrenching truths from Susie.
After a lot of discussion, it was decided that the Dale House is the best place for Susie. We can offer her that love she never has had. We have Jesus on our side and have him to fill us up when she is warring us down. We can offer her a safe place to sleep without fear of harm. We can forgive her. We can push her and challenge her to work through her past and love herself. We can hug her when she feels out of control. We can do all those things only because Christ is our strength. Trust me. Without Him, I would have quit a long time ago!
Susie is back and doing well. She hasn’t yelled at anyone since she has been back. She wakes herself up in the mornings (not once did she do this since October!!). She is such a joy. She is an encouragement to me and a reminder of the prodigal son.
2.
At the end of January, I took on a third primary, “Sarah".” I was soooo excited! Sarah is awesome. She is so polite and works hard and just a true example of resilience. Well about 3 weeks ago, we started to notice that Sarah was struggling. She wasn’t acting like herself and something was just off-kilter.
Last Friday, I got a call from Stephanie Pitt saying that Sarah had left the house (my primaries always seemed to be running away!) but asked for some time to clear her head. Steph granted that but told her to be back by 9:30pm. At 10:00 I received a phone call from Sarah. “Can you come pick me up?” “I’m at the Wendy’s on such and such roads.” Sure, I said. and left right away (the such and such roads are a 20 minute drive from the DHP! How she got there is still a mystery!). Upon arrival, Sarah was no where to be found. I waited around a while, but then decided to drive back home.
I arrived back at the DHP at 11:00 and walked over to girl’s residence since it was time for bed. I opened the door and found Sarah on the floor crying and Stephanie on the phone with 911. Turns out she had gotten in the car with a stranger who offered her a ride home on the cold night. He had taken advantage of her. The police came, the EMT came, and Sarah and I headed to the ER for the night.
It was a crazy experience to be there with her. Just to be a part of the terribleness that is sexual assault. I never, in a million years, thought I would have to sit at the hospital with someone because of that. As we sat there, the police asked if anyone else should be notified. I said no. He looked at me strangely and said “not a mother…?” and I said “no. She has no mother.” It really did break my heart that I, a person who has known Sarah for 3 months was the one to be there with her. I was glad I could be there, but dang. No mother…no family...no one to notify except a client manager.
“Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with your God.”
3.
I love to volunteer to go pick up a kid from work. Not only does this mean a small break from the chaos of the house, it also means a chance to be alone and one-on-one with a kid. Those are the moments I really love because I get the chance to see the kid be him or her self, not a circus clown showing off for the other residents.
This particular night, I volunteered to go get “Lauren.” Lauren is an awesome resident. She is 19 years old, grew up in a fairly normal adopted family, but was born to a drug mom. She now suffers from all sorts of mental health problems because of this.
When Lauren got in the car, I could tell she just wanted to talk. She immediately started the conversation by saying we would be proud of her for the decisions she made that day. I congratulated her and asked more about the situation. This conversation only led to her just opening her heart. I didn’t have to prod or poke. She just wanted to talk and have someone listen to her. We got back to the DHP in less than 10 minutes, but we sat in the car for the next hour and a half just talking. She talked about her frustrations with being in the system, she talked about frustrations of her friends making bad decisions. She talked about her family, her brother, her mom. She talked about her fear of emancipating in June. She talked about allllll sorts of things. and I got to listen. It was so cool. She really trusted me with her heart, with her struggles, with her thoughts.
We finally got out of the car because it was time for last smoke. Later that night, Lauren came to lie on the bed with Stephanie and I (where we sleep when we “sleep down”). She just said she was in a bad mood and knew we could cheer her up.
That may not sound like much, but to me, it shows she knows she is loved and cared for by us. That’s one of the best things I could ask for!
4.
Last night, I received a text message from my primary “Tom.” Tom is also very awesome. He is the hardest working resident in the house. He wakes himself up every day to go shovel horse poop. Not once did he complain when the weather was –13 and he as still working outside. Nope. He knows what he has to do to “make it.” He is determined to stay off drugs and not end up like the rest of his family.
Anyways, Tom and I had planned to go get some dinner since it was going to be one of the last nights we could do so before he emancipates. The text message I received said “I’m not going.” I was super confused. We had talked only 30 minutes before and plans were set. I texted him back and he replied with “You’re just like I thought you were. You say your my friend, but you’re just staff.”
dagger.
I was so shocked by that! Tom and I have a great relationship, so I was just so confused. I went up to Tom’s apartment to try to talk to him about what was going on and I was met with anger and yelling. He just wanted me out. I couldn’t fix the problem, so I did what he asked, and left.
I told my team leader about what had happened. He was also blown away by Tom’s words because he is aware of the type of relationship Tom and I have. He decided he wanted to try to talk to him before he was allowed to sign out to go anywhere.
After their talk, I got a message. “I’m sorry Abby. Can we still go?”
Of course.
As soon as we got into the car, there was that awkward silence. Who is going to say something? I was racking my brain and nothing was coming to my mouth!! Thankfully Tom spoke.
“I’ve just always gotten the sh** end f the stick. All my life I’ve be f-ed over. So I’ve learned that when people get close to me, instead of getting the sh** end of the stick from them, I wanna give them the sh** end of the stick first.”
He proceeded to tell me, (through choking back tears!! It was so preciously sad! I’ve only seen him tear up like that once before! Pretty amazing because he’s a 6’5’’ dude who’s been to jail) that I have been the closest thing to mom that he has had. The people who were supposed to be his mom (bio and adopted) don’t love him. He is scared to be alone and out of the system he said. He said he doesn’t have anyone to fall back on if he messes up.
It took all I had to not just break out in a full-blown cry. Tom doesn’t deserve what he had been through. He doesn’t deserve to say that jail is his fall-back because at least he will have a warm bed and food.
It stinks that I can’t be his mom. I’ve known him for 8 months. He’s 19. I’m 23. I’m moving away. He’s staying here.
It stinks even worse that he thinks I’m the closest mom he has had.
I got to pray with Tom that night. I couldn’t hold back the tears then. I prayed for him to know that he can fall-back on Jesus. I prayed for him to not give up hope. I prayed for him to know he is loved and special. I prayer for him to know the truth.
I am just continuously grateful for my experience here at the Dale House. I’m not going to lie, it is hard a lot. A lot of times I dread going to work just because of the unknown. What is today going to look like? Will it be good quality time with the residents or am I going to argue with them? Am I going to get cussed out today? (surprisingly, this is starting to bother me less and less! I don’t know if that is a good thing!) Is something just crazy going to happen? Why can’t the residents just understand we love them and why can’t they make the good decision?
Those are just some of the thoughts that run through my head.
But then there are the thoughts about injustice and how, honestly, I don’t think I could have survived past the age of 10 if I grew up like these kids. It is one of the most angering things to me to think about all the crap each one of these kids has been through, especially when they were just little babies, unable to talk, walk, do anything for themselves. There are those conversations with residents that reveal their hearts, reveal their desire to just be kids. There are those times of laughter. There are those times of love.
I know the next 2 and a half months are going to FLY by! Thank you all for your continued support and love!
I leave you with one more picture since there were so many words on this post!
GO HEELS!
I just had to do one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Working at the Dale House provides a chance to experience all sorts of things. My life here is actually crazy. I never envisioned I would be hanging out with the kids I am hanging out with and getting to know them as the people they are…not as criminals, which our society has deemed them. I never envisioned that I would share life with kids who have been neglected, abused, sold, hurt, criticized, abandoned. I never envisioned that I would get the chance to love them and show them they are worth more than their past.
I also never envisioned I would have to take a kid back to jail to help them realize that worth.
but I did.
and gosh, was it hard.
My primary, “Ashley” had just been spiraling down. She is the sweetest resident. She is so polite. I love this girl. She is awesome. But she was making bad decisions which were causing her to just keep spiraling down and down.
This weekend, she snuck out of the house after lights-out and got caught.
I went with Matt, a team-leader to her work to let her know that she was being terminated from the DHP.
She didn’t run. She didn’t yell. She didn’t resist. She just simply asked…”for good?”
As we were driving to Spring Creek (the jail), Matt asked her why she asked us “for good?”
She replied that it is because she doesn’t want to leave the DHP. She knows she has more potential than she has been displaying. She knows she can make better decisions.
It hurt me so much to leave her at the jail. I couldn’t hug her. I couldn’t rescue her from that place. I simply had to watch them take her belongings, search her body, and give her a green jumpsuit.
I cried as I was leaving out of frustration—not with her—but with what she has had to deal with in her life. What if she had grown up in a loving family? What if she had a mother that wanted the best for her? What if she was shown her value at a young age?
My mind is racing right now. How blessed am I? Why am I am lucky to have the life I have, especially when so many of the world are suffering? Why am I not in jail? Why am I free? It’s not fair.
She was not created to live in a jail. Not this girl. Not anyone. I just so badly wish I could make her realize this. I hope and pray that, even as she sits in jail, that she knows she is loved…by me, yeah, but more importantly, by Jesus. I hope she can get a glimpse of how awesome she is in his sight.
I really hope Ashley gets to come back to the DHP. I really hope I can love on her while she is at SC too through visiting her. I hope that her time at SC helps refocus her, helps her to realize that she was not making wise decisions, and helps her realize there is more out there for her than where she was headed. Our world offers such empty solutions to pain. They are easy and quick fixes, but oh so short lived and they make me so angry!
As we pulled into the parking lot of the jail, Ashley said a silent prayer and then did the sign of the cross across her shoulders. She knows the Lord is with her and that’s what she was created for.
WARNING: Picture heavy post!! 
I have mentioned this before, (probably more than once!) but one thing I love about working at the DHP is the way they take care of us. The DHP is all about community and supporting each other, and it’s just fantastic. It’s been such a blessing to get to experience a community like this. I truly believe it is a glimpse of Heaven!
Just recently, the entire staff got to drive up to the beautiful Frontier Ranch (a young life camp) for a week of winter camping. All I really knew before we left was that we would spend two nights solo camping. In the woods. In a tent. In the snow. and did I mention alone??
Anyways…we loaded up the car…
…and arrived at this beautiful adult lodge!
With this beautiful view. Yea. It’s amazing.
The next morning, we drove up to St. Elmo, a ghost town, to go snow shoeing.
THERE WAS SO MUCH SNOW!
But we strapped on our snowshoes and headed out through the woods.
We happened upon a tree with DALE carved in it. Cool huh?
and we just kept walking…and walking…and walking. It really was peaceful to walk through the snow covered woods. It was so quiet and clean and beautiful with the fresh powder.
Then we had to climb a HUGE hill. It was tough because of the super deep snow and the incline! But we all pulled together and helped each other make it to the top!
Day 3 of winter camping was “group camp night.” Thanks to Kevin and George for letting us have a practice round of camping with everyone before putting us out in the wilderness alone!
It appears that we are all reallllllly excited about this!
I think we all got pretty good air for having those packs on our backs!
After our photo shoot, the hike began. I was tired after about 5 minutes of walking. Those packs are HEAVY!
After about an hour we stopped for what we thought was a “lunch break.” After eating and relaxing, Kevin announced that we should find a spot to set up our tents! This was our campsite! I was sooooo happy I didn’t have to lug that pack anymore! Steph and I were sharing a tent that night, so we found the perfect spot and set it up! It was a cozy little home
After getting our tents set up, George showed us how to make a one match fire! We each got to try! It took me two matches, but I was still pretty impressed with myself! Its all about the no-bark wood and size of the stick!
Stephanie did a great job with her fire…after a while but on solo, she really did only use one match per fire! Crazy! (I used a whole box on solo and actually ran out!! Luckily George came by and brought me more!)
To help get warm, and see a beautiful view, we took a little hike up the mountain above our campsite! Little did I know that the cliff behind me is the one we would be rappelling down the next day!
After the hike, we came back and built a big fire to help keep us warm for the evening. It was cold, but it was cool to be with everyone around the camp fire. Jesse and Kevin fixed us some yummy mac and cheese, ramen noodles, bread, and hot chocolate for dinner and then we just spend the rest of the evening talking, laughing, and singing Salty Dog and KumBaYah! I really just love the people I work with! It was such a fun thing to be with them and have this experience together.
The next morning, on our hike back to the cabin, we stopped for a little rappelling DOWN A CLIFF!
Travis (pictured), Nik, and Ryan all went FACE first! You couldn’t pay me enough to have done that!
Annie was brave sitting on the edge of the rock! But look at the view! We would climb that mountain later in the week!
I was really scared scooting my way back to head down the mountain. Kevin was reassuring…kinda! The rope got stuck on the side of the mountain, and I thought Kevin was going to have to climb down to unstick me!
I was thrilled when I made it to the bottom. That’s the ultimate face of relief to be on solid ground!
The next day was the dreaded one…the start of solo camping! We hiked up to the generally same area where we group camped and were assigned to our own areas. I actually was looking forward to this time. I thought it would be a great time of reading, writing, and thinking. It actually proved to be kind of disappointing while I was out there. I found myself constantly having to gather more wood for my fire so I wouldn’t freeze or it would start snowing or I would have to go to the bathroom or gather more wood yet again! I felt like I was always gathering wood!! But my fire was pretty good! I was proud of myself! Below is a picture of my campsite!
Night time was the scariest part of the whole thing. It was just extremely quiet and the snow falling on my tent sounded like someone was walking around me. I really did feel the peace of Christ during this time however. I knew with all these mysterious sounds around me, I would never fall asleep. All I wanted to do was fall asleep so I wouldn’t realize where I was. I prayed and prayed that the Lord would calm my mind and just allow me to sleep. He really did answer that prayer. It was cool to get to experience that.
I did get more out of the solo time than I realized when I was out there. I was frustrated during my time in the woods, but being able to reflect on the time (once we came inside) allowed me to recognize the ways in which the Lord did speak to me. I also learned a lot from listening to my friends talk about their experience. Yet again, I am so blessed to be surrounded by these people!
All of our activities led us up to the final day…Climbing MT. PRINCETON!!
It was a fun hike through the snow! We stopped once we made it to the T.V. towers for a little photo op
The hike was just beautiful and not too cold! Look at the view! We could even see Pikes Peak (the mountain in the Springs) from a two hour drive away! It was so clear and awesome!
We also had to scale the mountain due to the possible threat of avalanches along the actual trail.
We made it to the top!! (well kinda)
But decided to keep going…even higher, through the wind and snow!
It was a crazy hike…but we saw one of these guys!! I wish I had his feet to climb over those rocks!
We made it to the top and Kevin told Jesse to break out the celebration! To our surprise Jesse had been carrying sparkling cider all day! So fun to pass the bottle around at the top of this beautiful mountain!
In order to get down the mountain faster, we took a path known as “Hackett Hill.” It was the craziest thing ever!! It was a cut through the woods, not on any trails, through about 5 feet of snow!! It was so hard to get through!! I ended up sliding on my butt most of the time cause my feet would just go right through the 5ft of snow! I don’t think I have ever laughed that hard either. It was hilarious trying to go down and watch Stephanie!
George reminded us while we were away that Jesus often took his disciples away, out of the ordinary, into the wilderness, into solitude to refocus and be alone with him.
Winter camping was awesome. It was more than just being together with each other. It was about being together with Christ.
I did a lot of things that I may never get the chance to do. I learned a lot about survival. I ate a lot of great food (thanks Sharon!). I stayed (most nights) in an amazingly beautiful mountain cabin. I played a lot of cards. I set up a tent by myself. I cooked myself dinner over a fire. I talked to no one for two days. I scaled down a mountain held up only by a rope. I wore the same clothes too many days in a row. I climbed a 14er. I saw a mountain goat. I slid down through lots of snow. I was encouraged by friends. I shared moments with friends. I ate with friends. I learned from George and Kevin. I spent time with people that I love so much. I got away from the normalcy of everyday life. I encountered unexpected things from Jesus.
