A Thief’s Checklist

By following this blog, I'm sure you've learned that Copan is a very unique place. Seeing ludicrous, inexplicable things day in and day out has greatly reduced the number of things that surprise me. Every once in a while though, I let my guard down, and the utter ridiculousness of this place wins out. For example, last week Abby and I were walking down the mountain after school, and as I heard a vehicle slowly approaching us from behind, I instinctively glanced back. There was a small pickup sputtering and scraping the ground because it was packed with the BIGGEST garbage bags I had ever seen. You literally could fit a small 4-wheeler in each one. They also hadn't stopped loading up the truck when the bed was full, for these monstrous bags were piled on top of each other reaching over 15 feet in the air (no lie). Abby raced to get her camera out, but the truck rounded the next corner, albeit slowly, before we could capture a photo for the next edition of "You Might Be A Redneck If..." I've seen some pretty slammed trucks, but this was too much.

Another thing that surprised me (the reason for this post) happened over Semana Santa (Spring Break) when Doug and Linda Hill were in town. I was robbed. I had a much more substantial robbery last year in Chapel Hill, but still, it gave me that post-theft unsettling feeling. First though, let’s back up, so you can see how the realization unfolded.

Unable to resist the sumptuousness of the Marina hotel, I was staying in Abby's parents' room for the week but periodically went go home to get some new clothes. One such time, Doug and I entered my house and found all the bedroom, kitchen, and apartment doors open. The front door to the street was shut, so I just figured my roommates had returned and I had just left my door open (something I never do). I did check to make sure my passport, money, and computer were still there, and when I found them, I thought nothing more of it...until my roommates returned 3 days later. dum dUM DUM. Chris told me he was missing money that he had had lying on his desk, so I went to reinvestigate. We found out that they had entered through the kitchen door, which wasn't double locked (roommates' fault since I never use that door), by punching their hand through the window screen and pulling the door lever. Then we played the "what did I do with my ____?" game for the next few days with the delightful twist of a break-in actually being a possibility. Just tell me what you took, thief!

Figuring out what they stole proved rather difficult. Let's start with what they left behind:

1. computers (These just complicate life.)
2. cameras (Everyone and their baby already has one on their cell phone.)
3. radios (Too old school)
4. passports (hmmm?)
5. cell phones (Already got 3.)
6. printer (What would you ever use this for?)

So what DID they take?

1. Money from Chris (OK this was normal. This is what tipped us off. I wised up after the Merritt Mill Massacre of 2008 and have mine in a super secret hiding spot.
2. Kitchen knives (naturally)
3. My night light/mini tripod (Who wouldn't want one of these?...I only discovered this when I wanted to read a little before falling asleep.)
4. My cowboy hat (Absolute necessity to prove manhood in Honduras...This loss dawned on me about a week later when we were going on a hike. )
5. Headphones (PURE EVIL...Oh this was the worst. I was so pumped to enjoy some new CDs I had just purchased when I found that my beloved, over-ear headphones had been stolen- from under my shorts in a drawer!)

So they had the time to pick and choose, knowing what we had to offer. This means their booty was all specifically chosen...Not the most "valuable" goods to steal I must say, but now we know what sorts of things motivate Copanecos to break in.

OH YEAH and they weren't the only visitors...these guys were hanging out in my kitchen. I hadn't cooked at my house in several months when we found them and definitely will not cook there ever again. Thank you, Doug, for smashing all of them with a glass jar- I guess that's why you still have your cowboy hat and I do not.

 

Are those 5 cockroaches hanging out, sucking up water, and spreading filth? Yes. Is that the kitchen sink? Yes. Are there at least 5 other ones scurrying around trying to scale the brushed aluminum? Yes. Were they continuing to come up through the drain, pushing up the stopper on their way out? Oh yeah. SICK!